Best of the Police Report - July 27

One bear , two bulls, and five raccoons were chased, reported or removed by the police this week:

* One black bear was reported on Farm Lane and another(?) bear was seen in the woods behind the Friendly's restaurant on Route 9 -- July 19 at 6:55PM, and July 20 at 11:43AM.

* Two bulls that got loose into Squire Village (Sunderland) were located and chased back onto Silver Lane, where their owner was contacted to put them back in a pen -- July 21 at 2:30AM.

*Five raccoons stuck inside a dumpster at a South Pleasant Street location were removed by police -- July 16 at 8:00AM

Meanwhile a quieter suspect, this lovely chanterelle, was developing on the Norwottuck Trail between Station Road and Warren Wright Road. Myco-friends, tell me true, is this a chanterelle or do I deceive myself?

Ode to Emily Dickinson

I blush to see a lovely, modest poet honor me! My deepest thanks for this particularly lovely poem which captures my little room perfectly.

Let Them Ride Bikes....

The Norwottuck Trail is getting mighty bumpy lately, but it's always ten degrees cooler than anywhere else on a hot summer's day. Its also a spectacular alternative to that confined vein of transport ugliness that runs through Belchertown, Amherst, Hadley, and over the mighty Connecticut.

Norwottuck draws families, novice and experienced bicyclists, walkers, runners, and skaters who come and go from myriad exits at eateries, grocery stores, malls, housing developments, bird blinds, and hiking trails along its nine or so miles.This week it drew a scholar of bicycle trails, Anne Lusk. Anne's idea in a nutshell: destination is destiny. People like to go places. So, our lil' ol' trail is part of a three year study that follows on Anne's monumental, 565 page doctoral dissertation from U. Michigan.

Meanwhile in that great destination Paris, France they are duplicating the public bicycle success of Lyon, and getting Americans off their arses.

Tell 'em, Anne!

Red-Tailed Hawk

A hawk stood on a green:
She did not know I saw
She bit a squirrel just in halves
And ate the fellow raw....

as the old poem goes. Then with great drama this striking red-tailed hawk, gripping the bloody-red gray-furred body in talons, joined her sizable "little one" in a nearby tree. Two aggressive, squawking blue jays harassed the young bird who shrugged off their diving swipes. I received an impression of giant gentle-ness.

The No Shusshing Zone

Unlike librarians, this turtle is easily shussh-able. He was walking across the bicycle path at a snail's pace when he curled into his shell. In honor of my friends, the hip, new generation of librarians, I cataloged him.

Requiem & Resurrection: A Lily's Story

We late mourned a lily ravaged by deer,
Who ne'er perchance knew that neighbors were near.
Her beauty and fullness we'll never know.
Yet Mother had others who lived and did show.

Persistence pays when luck meets its mate,
In flowers, in life, we meet and face Fate.
The beavers are gone, and the herons are too.
But frogs keep on croaking as berries turn blue.



UPDATE: Good news... A great blue heron and a white heron-ish bird are said to be about. A belted kingfisher has thrice appeared before my novice eyes --- but said sighting is affirmed by a expert-ish photographer with a huge-lens camera. Above, could be a Canada Lily not a Turk's Cap -- if anyone knows, please comment.

My Cups Runneth Over...

Someone is gracing Amherst with sculptures made from recycled cups. These beer cup flowers may be a memorial, sprouted where fraternity houses once stood on North Pleasant Street, right side, north if facing UMass. "Robotic Recycle Man" twists about in the garden between Rao's and the Bangs community center.

Whoever you are, one or many, we love and appreciate your work.

UPDATE: A barista at Rao's says Robot Twisty may be the work of a woman named "Smiles". For unknown reasons, by Sunday July 8, Robot Twisty was gone.

Lily Missing from Bicycle Trail

This suspected Turk's Cap Lily was seen on the Norwottuck Bicycle Trail, Monday evening at 7:30 PM. When the photographer returned Wednesday morning at 8:30AM, the lily was gone. Deer are suspected.

 

Solstice Thanksgiving

"We gather'd together to feast and be pagan,
Earth's bounty is precious for life is all one,
We ate with Thanksgiving, this food that once was living,
Sing praises to the Life that becomes now our own."

.... in this case, Central Massachusetts smoked trout.

Rbbbts and a Green Heron

A couple of updates on two ends of the Norwottuck bicycle trail:



On the South Amherst - Belchertown side, the road repairs are complete, the green heron is back, and the frogs are burbled-eyed, croaky, and plentiful. I also saw small hand-sized fish, and a turtle sunning on the yellow flowered lily pads. A black and white warbler lives not too far away, but will not sit still for a portrait.



On the Northampton side, the much awaited Damon Road crossing and extension were STILL unfinished as of last week, but I found odd, open-ended finished segments. Much awaited....

Hush Hush: Let's Blame the Beavers!

Someone is blaming the beavers for the hole in the Norwottuck Bicycle Trail next to the former U-shaped beaver dam on the Belchertown Side. It has generated a lot hush hush scurrying on the part of the "responsibles", the DCR and the Town of Amherst. How hush hush? Consider this odd bit in the Amherst Bulletin:

Wendy Fox, press secretary for the DCR, said that a notice of intent has been filed with the town, but before repair work can begin, an environmental consultant will have to pre-approve the work.

The reason for that, Fox said, will be to determine whether or not the repair work will harm an endangered animal that lives in the wetlands area. The name of that species cannot be revealed for its own safety, Fox said.

So, Let's pray for great blue heron, the little frogs, the fish, the birds, the bees, the flowers, and the trees... oh, yes, and let's not forget that secret endangered creature, whoever it may be. I am sure it appreciates its anonymity.

In fact should it not be eligible for a secret endangered creatures witness protection program, a new secret identity, and a new secret habitat if we can find one.


Speaking of secrets, above, a red maple blossom.

Annals of Unreported Crime: Case of the Zen Fountain

This week's unreported crime involves a Louis Pomerantz Zen fountain, shown a month ago in the shadow of snow. Thursday night marauders apparently stumbled through the yard and decided, "Off with its head!" They carried away the top piece which is loosely sleeved onto a water spout.

The owner refused to call the police, understandably deterred by how ridiculous she would appear in the Amherst Bulletin Police Report: "The theft of a rock was reported to police. When the police got there the rock was not found. Many other rocks were still around."

The rock was found Sunday morning about a block away on Hallock Street, and was retured to its home base.

The Yellow Rose of Texas

"The Yellow Rose of Texas", an admirer claims, has the perfect rhythms and cadences for singing my poetry. (Thank you, Jim Marra, of Jamaica Plain, MA). This tidbit was particularly appreciated when I came upon this yellow rose of Texas off Guadalupe St. in Austin, TX.

Alongside, I found a longhorn art car, with painted cows, a cowgirl, and Happy Trails painted on the rear end!



This was my first trip to Texas, and it was beautiful. Wildflowers, orange paintbrush, purple fields of bluebonnets, springtime is Texas' foliage season, oh my! Between Austin and College Station one finds a Pioneer Valley of sorts, Hadley-esque landscapes with the Brazos River as this area's Connecticut.

I tried to say, "Howdy!", but found Texans say "Hello!", and "Good morning!" Further, I encountered many Bush Bashing Texans! Yes, bus drivers, working folk, even Republican Texans in old-timer BBQ restaurants are shaking their heads in wonderment at the sorry state their boy has wrought.

To finding thinking folk, I can only say, "Yee-hah!", remembering Texas as the home of the incomparable, late Molly Ivins.

Refreshing Times

Emily was deeply impressed by the showing of at least a hundred people who attended a Library Trustees meeting at the Jones Library to support the ESL program.

For one and a half hours, people came forth and explained to the trustees what the ESL program meant to them, as individuals and as citizens of Amherst.

It was a proud moment for me to see Amherst coming out, welcoming and supporting immigrants, all-American at its best.

Look it UP! Jones Library & ESL -- Tues - March 12, 7PM

"Why you should fall to your knees and worship a librarian" by the Librarian Avenger

Ok, sure. We’ve all got our little preconceived notions about who librarians are and what they do. Many people think of librarians as diminutive civil servants, scuttling about "Sssh-ing" people and stamping things. Well, think again buster.

Librarians have degrees. They go to graduate school for Information Science and become masters of data systems and human/computer interaction. Librarians can catalog anything from an onion to a dog’s ear. They could catalog you.

Librarians wield unfathomable power. With a flip of the wrist they can hide your dissertation behind piles of old Field and Stream magazines. They can find data for your term paper that you never knew existed. They may even point you toward new and appropriate subject headings.

People become librarians because they know too much. Their knowledge extends beyond mere categories. They cannot be confined to disciplines. Librarians are all-knowing and all-seeing. They bring order to chaos. They bring wisdom and culture to the masses. They preserve every aspect of human knowledge. Librarians rule.... -- "

Now, the issue of where the Jones Library budget cuts should come from has had two answers: the librarian department head proposal which preserves the ESL program, and the trustee proposal that eliminates the ESL program.

I want the burden of cuts to fall on my own library-loving shoulders rather than on the shoulders of new immigrants. I will wait longer for books. I will forgo the latest and greatest so that ESL is preserved. The rationale of "serving too few people" is specious at best.

I will be attending a public meeting on Tuesday, March 12 at 7PM to ask that the trustees trust the librarians and preserve the ESL program at the Jones Library. Please look at the proposals, and come to the meeting. It should be lively!!!

Essay: Emily Never Tires

Embryo J. Regicide sends me junk mail. He wants to sell me something, but he never will. Its not that I am offended -- no no no. Its that I am so utterly fascinated by his name that I never read down to his blush-inducing junk mail proposition. His name is so jarring that I am consumed with laughter! I close my eyes, I fall back in my chair, I laugh out loud, and my imagination soars.

I see a cramped, messy, windowless, equipment-filled 10 x10 cell, and two desperate thirty year-old males masquerading as mass-marketing geniuses. They live in a soulless geography with bland architecture, a faceless 1950’s concrete block in Eastern Europe, the back-end of a strip mall in Framingham, Massachusetts. They’ve been working at quick-rich schemes for 18 months. They are so bored they create new people: Embryo J. Regicide one day, and Waistcoated F. Hellion, Salazar F. Pinball another.

I wouldn’t accept a free pencil from a guy named Embryo, so whoever is paying these guys is getting ZERO for his junk mail money. So, dear readers, help me! What is this junkmail all about? Who generates these names? Is it a program? And who are these guys to get paid for their services? Whoever you are, thank you!

If you really live in Framingham, I would love to meet you.

New one same as the old one...

Thanks for the new STOP sign, Amherst sign guardians, but I have to confess I really liked the old one.

Birds To The Feeder

Birds to the feeder, seeking their fill,
Know not to come when food level's nil.
Hope for the blogger slow on the seed ,
Birds do come back on recant and re-feed.

Best of the Police Report - March 1

By far, the best snippet of the past month:

A woman missing from her Amherst home since Feb. 22 has been located in San Diego, Calif. and appears to have gone there on her own.

Kaitlyn Ierardi, 19, who is confined to a nonmotorized wheelchair, apparently traveled cross country by bus and was located in San Diego Monday.

Police were initially contacted by her concerned family Feb. 23 and released her photo and information to the media seeking information about Ierardi's whereabouts This led to several tips from area residents that helped track Ierardi's movements.

Police will work with San Diego police to ensure that Ierardi remains safe.

Is this heartwarming-determination or hell-girl on wheels? Imagine if this young lady had had a motorized wheel chair???? Well, with sympathy for the anxious friends and family, I say:

Kaitlyn, congratulations, its still cold here!

Its Always Summer Somewhere

They are not mere fishermen but giant squid catchers, not mere judicial reformers but petticoated cross-dressing 68 year old lawyers, not mere ivory tappers but piano-playing, pathos-plying leg pullers.

They are all New Zealanders. Enough said. Draw your own conclusions.

Reminding you its always summer somewhere, Emily.

CORRECTION: The author of the the third article, "Shoot The Piano Player" is anchored in New Zealand, while Joyce Hatto, the subject of the article is a London-based POM. *




*Prisoner of Mother England.

Best of the Police Report - Jan 26

This week's best stories were investigative. Amherst detectives worked the henhouse :

* Police said three vehicles had been struck heavily with eggs near a South East Street location between Jan. 19 and Sunday. The eggs had frozen onto the vehicles and police located an egg carton in the roadway stamped from Cumberland Farms. Police said all Cumberland Farms stores in Hampshire County are reviewing their security cameras to see who may have recently purchased the carton of white eggs.

...while Hadley detectives ruled the roost:

* Police have arrested an Amherst man who they say is responsible for bringing an antique weather vane stolen from a Hadley barn to an auction house in New Hampshire. Michael Mikalunas, 34, of Greenwich Road, was arrested Jan. 16 at 1 p.m. at the police station on a charge of receiving stolen property over $250, said Police Chief Dennis Hukowicz.

The arrest of Mikalunas was made after a week-long investigation that started Jan. 9 when police that night took a report from a person who had noticed a weather vane being sold at auction and that it was identical to one that was missing from the peak of a barn on Mount Warner Road.

Blue Heron Footprints in the Snow

These are the footprints of a blue heron, wintering near the beaver dam off the Norwottuck Bicycle Path in South Amherst.

Remember Snow?

 

Its January. There's still a chance, right?

Embalming News

Embalming is not required in Massachusetts. So claims an alternative funeral group in Eastern Massachusetts in their fascinating brochure !

Meanwhile, in the stark, decrepit, heat island, stormwater runoff disaster of a parking lot behind CVS, St Brigid's and other businesses:

That which you give....

"Short shadow'd solstice,
Warm winter day,
A rose that you gave,
Amidst low salmon rays.

Three score one hundred,
The sweetest sixteen,
You marked with these roses,
Faint mem'ry redeemed.

A rose in a foyer,
A maiden at three,
That which you give,
Gives tribute to thee."

Thank you, dear admirer for the one hundred seventy six roses which you gave to the many visitors who had so kindly came to my and my brother's house on December 1oth, 2006 for music, cake, and cider on my 176th birthday.

Best of the Police Report - Dec 1

* Between Nov. 28 and Dec. 5, police issued 346 warnings to vehicles parked on Amherst streets in violation of the winter parking ban.

* Nov. 29, 2:00 p.m. - An employee at the Super Stop & Shop at Campus Plaza reported that a person may have stolen steaks from the store after the person was seen pulling steaks from his pants and getting into a car

* Nov. 28, 9:42 a.m. - A man was ordered to stay away from a Taylor Street home after he allegedly got onto the porch and unscrewed a light bulb that he claimed was keeping him up at night.

Has winter arrived yet?

Canadian Crime: Snakes

A Canadian cobra is playing hide and seek in one half of a Toronto duplex..

"The bizarre tale began on Tuesday, Sept. 26, when a tenant saw the snake in the kitchen. Belanger arrived to see it coiled behind the fridge. Belanger backed out of the kitchen and called Animal Services, but by the time they arrived, the snake was gone."

By the time they arrived the snake was gone... does this sound familiar? Makes you appreciate our cute, native, salamanders, shown here cavorting on the M&M trail.

Best of the Police Report - Nov 24

* Sunday, Nov 12, 8:33 p.m. - Police took a report that a squirrel bit a patron at the VFW on Main Street. The dead squirrel was taken to a veterinarian to check for illness and the patron who was hit [sic] went to a doctor's office.

* 5:34 p.m. - Police received a report from Cherry Lane residents that a suspicious book with threatening writing was left in their mailbox. Police are determining whether threats were actually made.

Tuesday, Nov. 7, * 2:01 p.m. - Damage to pheasant nets at a Bridge Street home may have been related to a fight between two youths that occurred a few days earlier. Police are investigating.

*Sunday, Nov. 5, 12:50 a.m. - A woman reported a man was in her driveway. Police responded and found a brown and tan dog near the garbage.* 12:02 p.m. - A possibly rabid dog was located at Southpoint Apartments. Police determined the dog, named Dusty, was friendly and not rabid.

*Saturday, Nov. 4, 3:48 p.m. - A white horse that got loose on Shutesbury Road was retrieved by its owner.

* Friday, Nov. 3, 9:17 p.m. - A person throwing firecrackers into Main Street was gone when police got there.

* Thursday, Nov. 1, 7:32 p.m. - A large bag of leaves seen on the Route 116 bypass was moved to the side of the road.

Best of the Police Report - Nov 17

Best not boast of the best this week:

Sat. Oct 21, 7:38 p.m. - Police responded to a disturbance on Pulpit Hill Road in which one man accused the other of urinating on his vehicle and the other complained that he had a beer thrown at him.


Even the police were bored....

2:10 a.m., 2:37 a.m. and 3:07 a.m. - License plate lights were out on three vehicles stopped on Main Street and North Pleasant Street and the drivers were issued warnings for the offenses.

St. Brigid's Holiday Fair was very nice. The END....

Spaceship Art

In a tunnel on the Norwottuck trail, near Amherst College:

The Future of Journalism

Heather & Jill, journalism students at UMass, were outside the Bangs Center early on Election Day, interviewing exiting voters. See the mike?

They were great. They asked quick short questions, and sent me on my way. I think they would be a great correspondents for "The Daily Show".

If I were the prof, I'd give those girls an "A"!

Best of the Police Report - Nov 3

Hadley:

" Seven youths wearing only shorts who were reported running in and out of traffic on Bay Road near the reservoir October 25 at 3:45 PM were not located by police."

Amherst:

Sept 30, 10:55AM: " A blueberry net valued at $20 was reported stolen from a Chesterfield Drive Resident."

October 1, 6:59PM: " Two men who place a net across the Fort River near South East Street checked out OK when police determined they had permission to be there to trap eels."

Net net....this sign at the corner of Cowls Lane and North Prospect Street is my first entry in a proposed new crime feature,"The Police Un Report", reporting what the police report does not.

Best of the Police Report - Oct 27

The Hadley police have been as busy as this North Hadley end-of- the-summer bee:

" A black bear moving from yard to yard on Chmura Road Sunday [Oct 22] at 6:12 PM was not located by police."

Further:

"Men who appeared to be covered in blood behind Peter's Drive-In on Route 9, Octber 19 were determined to be people who had been involved in a ketchup fight."

The Sunderland police wish they had so much excitement:

"Police took a report of damage to the grass in front of Dimo's restaurant, on North Main Street, October 21 at 6:36 PM."

Lawn lashing was likely unrelated to this high drama:

"Two men were found arguing over dirty underwear left outside one othe men's apartments at Squire Village, October 20 at 7:55PM. Police calmed them down."

Nothing very interesting happened in Amherst...

Spirals in the Woods

Andy Goldsworthy, we are trying, or maybe not. There's a neat spiral in the woods, near Amhthyst Brook, and an altar at the end:

Best of the Police Report - Oct 20

This week's police report had two unusually long bits, one a snippet of unrequited romance, and the other a thought-provoking snippet of regret:

Sept. 23: 12:46PM: " An Amherst woman reported to police than on two separate occasions three weeks apart, first at a Barnes & Noble Booksellers in Hadley, and later at an Amherst CVS Pharmacy, a man has slipped a note into her bag and walked away. The note states that he is a gentleman and finds the woman pleasant and attractive."

On a more sober note:

Sept 22: 3:37PM: " About 100 college students riding bicycles intentionally blocked traffic and wore signs on their backs to taunt drivers on West Street near Hampshire College. The group was protesting the death of Meg Sanders who died a year ago while riding her bicycle in Northampton. They were warned to stay out of the road."

With all the hoo-hah about terrorists and homeland security, I seem to know more people (bicyclists) killed by trucks this year than by terrorists. If we declare trucks to be "terrorists", can we get some DHS money diverted to the real homeland , where public health education on sharing streets can make a real security difference?

PS : Try this Canadian no-brainer practice. Raise your arm and point when you enter crosswalks. Trust me it stops the cars cold, and the drivers appreciate it.

Best of the Police Report - Oct 13

I am 175 years old myself, so imagine my surprise on reading this first item:

"An 180-year-old Hatfield man was placed into protective custody after he was found lying on the ground on Route 9 Oct. 7 at 9:52 p.m., police said. " [Hadley]

September 18-
2:40 p.m. - A loose cow on South East Street was returned to its pen before police got there.

3:57 p.m. - An injured squirrel was reported on Harlow Drive.

September 20-
3:03 p.m. - Police were not able to locate a loose dog that was on Pine Street for several hours.[Amherst]

Vegetable from another planet

At the Amherst Farmer's Market Saturday morning, the people from

told me this fantastic green thing was an Italian Heirloom cauliflower called Romanesque. I believe, however, it may be an extra-planetary invasive. I base this on recent evidence that we are being visited by extra-planetaries, as shown in previous posts on UFO's , a rock from another planet, and a Lamborghini. This so-called vegetable has also appeared in Fort Lauderdale, Florida where an artist found it. He believes it is wholesome, natural and organic.

I really don't know. Whatever. It is fractaliciously fantastic in the 3rd dimension, and I think it is far too beautiful to eat. Stand aside red cabbage. Welcome interplanetary immigrants, along with your vegetables. !